Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ghettabulous

There is a significant portion of our lives that we don't blog much about. My mind has been swimming with the realization of how big of a part it plays and so I decided to give up my attempt to nap and blog a little about it instead. I don't usually blog it because 1. I don't want to sound like I am being superspiritual 2. I don't want to sound like a martyr and 3. I am not really sure people are interested.

We have mentioned in previous posts that we live in an oppressed neighborhood (ghetto, hood, inner-city - you pick your dysphemism), but we don't talk about the opportunities or trials that come with it. When I truly reflect on our lives here, I can't imagine ever living anywhere else.

Let me start with the blessings and opportunities:

*I am a people person and there are always people around. We live in a 1920's house, and our house and every house on our street has a porch that spans the front of them. Most people spend time on their porch and it's a great way to get to know your neighbors. We can have conversations by yelling up to 3 porches away. Our houses are close together so isolating yourself or your family is impossible. If we are in the backyard and either of our immediate neighbors are in their backyards then you are pretty much together. If you get home from the grocery, you can't make it in the house without saying hi to a couple people. We don't have a garage so we park on the street in front of our house just like everybody else.

*Our neighborhood is very diverse. We have mostly black, Hispanic, and white but there is one lady from Thailand. All the kids play together without concept of color.

*We have lots of opportunities to love our neighbors by serving them. Sometimes we are blessed to care for material and physical needs, sometimes we care for spiritual needs, and most of the times we meet their conversational needs.

*This neighborhood won't allow us to become complacent (at least for long). The poor are all around us. Immediate neighbors struggle to keep lights and gas as well as food on their tables. If you sit on the porch and watch you will say hi to homeless and prostitutes. There is the "can man" who walks our street on Mondays collecting aluminum cans to turn in for cash. Then there are all the kids. Some of the families have food, but it is evident that not all the kids get 3 meals a day. We often have the opportunity to feed (and don't take it as much as we should) neighborhood kids. The public school, a block away, provides breakfast and lunch on school days and many times those are the only weekday meals a couple of our friends eat. For a while I was making an effort to buy "give away" food, but I haven't been so great about it lately.

*The latest blessing and opportunity is the Hispanic family to the north of us. We have been their friends since they moved in last winter. The mom works very hard (father is currently not around) and the kids are amazing. Sometimes we are close to them and share meals and other times they are quiet and elusive. The mom speaks very broken English and I have to decode it (man I wish I spoke Spanish).

*Another blessing is "J". I would guess him in his 50's. He and his wife live two houses to the south. We affectionately call him the "mayor". He takes care of things and always knows what is going on. He and his wife have been married almost 26 years and have 3 kids. He spends his days on his porch surrounded by family (kin) and friends, and his wife works 2 jobs. He greets us when we come outside or arrive home. He comes to our defense if undesired visitors come, keeps an eye out for the neighborhood, and intimidates people if they "holla" at me.

*We have sidewalks that go somewhere. We could walk to a local church, gas station, antique store and even post office or grocery.

*Every week the garbage man honks and waves to Vi and I while we stand at the back door and he empties our dumpster in the alley. When Vi was just a baby we would stand in the backyard and wave, and so now on Thursday when I hear him coming, I open the back door and Vi waves. Last week I forgot to open the door and heard him honk anyway.

*Our housing is more than affordable.

*I have an excuse to bake (for the neighborhood kids of course) and they are never short on compliments.

*Our house is old and has historic charm.

*We are part of something bigger than ourselves and have an opportunity to try and get to know and love people as Christ would.

Here are a few trials and obstacles:

*Developing intimate relationships is slow due to socioeconomic, racial, and language barriers.

*Sometimes scary things happen. Sometimes (not often) we hear gunshots and fighting. Sometimes people deal drugs in front of our home (but not lately after I got a little too brave and said something to scare them away). The upside to these things is that we rely on God for our security and realize that safety is an illusion and we have no control. When we were first married, we lived in an apartment complex in a more "desirable" or "safe" part of the city - one night Nate was robbed there at gunpoint in the parking lot.

*Sometimes it's a little louder than we would like. People love bass and hip hop. However, J loves blues and jazz and those nights are fun.

*Sometimes it's uncomfortable to be approached by strangers, asked for money, or interrupt family time to meet the need of a neighbor. However, these are the times when we have opportunities to be Christ-like and remind ourselves that our lives here are to be offerings poured out.

*Sometimes it would be nice to have new and comfy. A garage would come in handy for cold mornings or times when you don't feel like emptying your car of desirable merchandise. But, my brothers installed a remote starter and our car stays cleaner since we take everything in the house. Even with hardwood floors and a dank basement, our house is a nice and cozy home.

*It can be frustrating to not have a close neighborhood "friend." Since relationships are slow to form and I am human, I am always seeking out someone like me. I have been unsuccessful in manipulating people or God to meet my need for a walkable friend. This has probably been a good thing in making me rely on Him more and get out once in a while.

*Living with rentals on both sides of your house can be anxiety inducing when it comes to new people moving in. What if they are scary, what if they have a dog, what if we don't like them? Just one more reason to pray and trust God.

*Your kids are exposed to things. I am still struggling with whether this is good or bad. Before we had kids, we would get questioned about whether we would raise them here. We are here now and that's all we know. I am not sure the best approach as far as sheltering. I know that it is not my goal to expose our children to difficult things or evil. I will shelter them and protect them. Evil exists everywhere, and hopefully their exposure will be accompanied by explanation and support. Maybe their exposure will help them know the world and rely on Christ. Our prayer is that they walk intimately with Him and trust Him for guidance and conviction of right/wrong good and evil.

As I sit here typing, I am really reminded of how great it is to be positioned here. Sometimes we struggle with being content and looking for the next move, but it is obvious that God has us here for now and it's a relief to be okay with that.

Okay, Violet is awake - so much for my nap ;)

5 comments:

Danielle said...

Always remember Mandy that God has you guys there for a purpose. You might not know what it is in this lifetime, but there is a purpose. God doesn't make mistakes for putting people where He puts them!

Beth said...

Sometimes I think no matter where we are, we will always have positives and negatives about our placement. I mean, there are so many positives about where I am located and the people that surround me, but I still find myself from time to time finding the negatives in it. I want a bigger yard, I want more christian neighbors that are on my level of thinking, I want so many things sometimes, but Nik always stops me and reminds me of what we have already. We are in a safe neighborhood and have plenty of things to be greatful for. If anybody were to be placed on your street to be a light to the world, you are the perfect family for that. I am sure you won't live there forever, but for now, God is definately using you to advance His kingdom, even if it's just through your simple actions, it's definately making an impact on your neighbors. You never cease to amaze me Amanda. :)

Hubs said...

While I appreciate the encouragement, I didn't actually write this post to gather sympathy or adulation. I just figured that since it is a big part of our lives and I blog about everything else I may as well include my thoughts. God definitely uses living here to change and refine us probably more than us changing anyone else. I also want to say that our perceived "sacrifice" is pitiful and the blessings outweigh and difficulties.

Beth said...

Just remember that with every post people will always interpret things differently. I don't feel sorry for you and I wasn't taking pity. I was just sharing my view. I always think people's comments are somewhat helpful. It's just a different perspective. I was just trying to be encouraging. :) No need for a pity party from me. :)

Alyssa said...

I am pretty sure we would be good friends and neighbors if I still lived in IN. We live in an old house too and I love the old character & charm they bring to life!