Am I a bad mom because, yesterday as Violet was peacefully sleeping on me, I wanted desperately to
tweeze her little eyebrows to pieces shape her eyebrows. When she was an infant, I resisted popping even a tiny bump of her baby acne. I have never popped, pushed, or pulled anything on her sweet little face. Yesterday as I was rocking her during phase II of her nap (the mandatory phase that occurs when she wakes up from phase I in a foul mood) I couldn't help but notice how unruly those eyebrows are. Don't get me wrong - I am not a psycho plucker, I don't often wear make-up and physical appearance isn't too high on my agenda, but something about those bushy little duffers made me want to pluck and pluck and pluck.
Am I a bad mom because I am desperately afraid that something awful will happen to my kids when they are not under my watch. I know it's silly. I am not the only person who is able to keep the girls alive and well. In fact, Nate is not only capable but he is also reliable. This weekend I am going out of town for some girl time - I feel like it's a good idea, but I cannot stop myself from giving directions and then more directions. I started to make lists, instruction manuals, and other polite reminders but I was able to get some self-control.
When I come back on Monday I have a slew of Violet and Anara quotes to post along with some pictures of them loving the snow. Have a good weekend.
3 comments:
I can definately sympathize! Claire's going on a class trip to DC in the fall. I couldn't let her go without Brad and I chaperoning but I couldn't stand the thought of leaving Anne here a whole week without me. What was I to do? Either choice I made, one of my children were going to be without me for several days. I opted to go to DC as if I didn't she'd have no parent. Anne at least has Brad and a supply of other family members.
In the past I've gone with Brad to state tournament, but after leaving the girls to go with him to the Memorial Golf tournament last year, I decided it would be a long time before I left them again. Brad doesn't suffer from the same anxiety so he's going without me.
Well, maybe we're both weird together. Because I also feel the need to pluck a few eyebrows on Karis. I learned not to do it when she's awake, or even asleep because it may wake her up (and talk about foul mood then...) Am I a bad mom because I've taken the opportunity to pluck an eyebrow when she's having a seizure, since she's unconscious at that time anyway? I also take advantage of seizures to brush her hair when I can, since she doesn't like that either.
Oh, and I also suffer from that same problem about having to make lists and instruction manuals whenever I leave Karis with someone else. I tell myself it's because of her disabilities, but I think it's really just because I like to be in control too much and think I'm the most able to care for her of anyone. It has helped a little sending her to the special needs preschool, but I still write lots of notes to the teacher....
Yay for you getting away for the weekend! Dan has been out of town for the past 3 days and a weekend away with friends sounds mighty nice right about now! Have fun!
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